what was i thinking??? volume 1

kitchen sink subzi

Lotta words on this blog so far, lotta theory. Big idea vibes, science vibes, abstract conceptual chemistry vibes. But what does it look like in practice? What do I do when I’m hungry and there’s a bunch of random crap in my house? What was the reason for each of my choices? What was I thinking?

Today’s special feature: a recent cooking session where I took pictures of all the important decision points and wrote down what I did and why.

the scene, goals and non-goals

I got back from the gym and forgot to pick up groceries. The fridge was mostly empty. I was hungry and too lazy to venture outside.

Goals: I want protein and veggies. I want to use up some old stuff in my fridge. I don’t want to leave the house. It should be kinda yummy because why not.

Non-goals: I don’t need to impress anyone: just a basic thing will do. I don’t need it to be incredibly yummy. I don’t need it to be multiple separate items. I don’t need to make clever food references or jokes, although those are welcome if they arise naturally. I don’t need to showcase any ingredient; in fact, the ingredients are kinda crap so it’d be better to put a paper bag over them, metaphorically speaking.

the raw materials

It’s an episode of Chopt and here’s the basket:

A quarter cabbage piece with mostly core, some old ginger, a can of tuna, a can of sardines, two old tomatoes, some old spinach, some scallions, and dried mushrooms.

Why? I’m already making some choices here. The canned fish and dried mushrooms are pantry items that I chose to include. Canned tuna for the protein, canned sardines for the fat and umami, dried mushrooms for the umami and meaty texture.

Not pictured here: some spices that I’ll name when each makes its first appearance.

the subzi

I decided to make a subzi. That means I’ll make a spiced oil and then cook the veggies in that oil. That’s pretty much it lol.

is this guy foreal writing a 10,000 word blog post about making a damn subzi???

Why? It’s a bunch of random vegetables. The two things that seem easiest are a subzi or simple veggie patties/kababs. Subzi is easiest and I was lazy, so subzi it is.

the prep

I chopped the cabbage pretty roughly, and scallions on the diagonal. I poured boiling water from an electric kettle over some dried mushrooms in a bowl. I peeled the ginger with a spoon.

Why? The piece of cabbage I had was mostly core, so it’s not shreddable. I just broke it down to pieces that were small enough that I was confident they would cook fast. I like the look of scallions cut diagonally. I don’t like the texture of ginger skin so I peeled it. I used a spoon because that’s able to navigate the rough surface of ginger really well.

I reconstituted the mushrooms with water because I’ve found that that gives them a good, meaty texture, and also makes sure they’re rehydrated all the way through. Cooking them as-is often results in them staying dry in the center unless you’re putting them in a stew and cooking for more than 10min. I did it with hot water because that makes the rehydration go faster: hot water molecules jiggle wiggle more actively and travel through the mushroom more quickly.

the flavored oil

I poured in the oil from the canned sardines and heated it. Then I added fenugreek (methi) seeds, cumin seeds, and dried kashmiri chili peppers.

Why? The sardines I have happen to be packed in oil. This oil is full of flavor, and I’ve already decided to make a flavored oil, so I might as well use that oil for this purpose instead of throwing it out.

I’ve noticed several recipes using fenugreek seeds with fish, including a really good Kerala fish stew I learned from a class I took while traveling there. Here I have some fishy flavors, so I figured fenugreek seeds would work. The cumin seeds are there just as a nice, safe default flavor. The kashmiri chili peppers are there to provide a bit of pepper flavor and a bit of spice, but not too much spice. Once they’ve cooked in a subzi for a bit they rehydrate and become softer, and I enjoy biting into and eating them. Their mildness is just right for being able to eat several big ol’ peppers in a single sitting without intense rages and ecstasies.

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I added the scallions and cabbage.

Why? I needed to get something in the pan to stop the spices from burning. Scallions are a good choice because they’re alliums (like onion) and so they’re great as an aromatic base vegetable. I put the cabbage in at this stage because the piece I had was mostly the core, which is hard and so needs a little more time to cook and get soft. I think cabbage actually does pretty well as an aromatic base but if I hadn’t had the core-heavy piece I would have waited a little bit for the scallions to get tender and start to almost brown before adding the cabbage. Adding the cabbage this early means the scallions aren’t going to brown unless I wait a longer amount of time — there’s simply too much water to evaporate before we get to Maillard reaction temperatures — and I was too lazy and too hungry to wait that long.

the subzi proper

I added the tomatoes. I added the ginger.

Why? I wanted the tomatoes to soften, release their juices and break down. I wanted this so that the delicious tomato flavor would permeate the subzi instead of being locked inside chunks of tomato. When tomato breaks down under heat it produces a great sauce for everything else to swim in. I’m not rejecting the use of tomato in more discrete, less cooked forms; it was simply not what I wanted in this case. It’s okay to want what you want, and, if you can do it while respecting others’ boundaries, it’s okay to do and take what you want. I wanted saucy tomatoes and I told myself That’s Okay and then I did it.

I added the ginger at this point so it has enough time to soften and release its flavored juices. That flavor will go into the sauce that’s about to be created by the liquid coming out of the tomatoes.

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After a couple of minutes (notice the tomato skin coming off as they cook, and the general juiciness), I added sardines and mushrooms.

Why? The sardines have a ton of flavor and I wanted that flavor to go everywhere, so they need to cook a little. Same with the mushrooms. The mushroom rehydration water also has a bunch of flavor and I wanted that liquid to have some time to heat and thicken, to concentrate the flavors and mix with everything else.

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I allowed time to pass.

Why? I cannot seem to stop time from passing. The defect is congenital.

Notice how the tomatoes are browner. That’s because they’re softening and getting colored by the pan liquid, which is brown from the mushrooms and from Maillard reactions.

Notice how the sauce is thicker. That’s because the water is evaporating and, to a smaller extent, because the veggies and fish are gradually breaking down and getting their particles suspended in the sauce.

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I scraped the bottom of the pan with my spatula to feel whether anything is stuck there.

Why? If something stays stuck to the bottom of the pan for too long, it will burn. If it stays stuck for just a little bit, that’s fine. It’s actually better than fine! Those bits stuck to the pan get hot and undergo Maillard reactions, so they’re full of flavor. If you find stuck bits that are brown, rejoice and scrape them into the food. But if you find a bunch of stuck bits and they’re black, you have a problem. They’re bitter and charred. There are several ways to fix the problem but I won’t get into them here.

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I tasted the sauce.

Why? At this stage we have a lot of options and a lot of agency. Depending on how the sauce tastes, we can add powdered spices, fat, cream, salt, acid, or umami.

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I added turmeric and red chili powder.

Why? The turmeric adds a little bit of depth of flavor, and the red chili powder adds flavor and color. Honestly this is a pretty standard combo and I often add it to subzis. This is exactly the right time to add these two because they need some time to cook but are powders and shouldn’t go in very hot oil unless you’re being very careful. Adding them to a watery stage is perfect.

contemplative interlude

I looked outside.

Why? It was a nice day. It’s important to ground ourselves in our senses, to experience physical reality and to take some enjoyment from simple things like sunlight and leaves. Life is fleeting. The transient impermanence of a sunny day is a cheerful yet firm reminder of our ultimate fate: doom.

back to subzi

I kept the heat going until much of the sauce had evaporated and I could see these little bubbles of fat at the edges of the food on the pan.

Why? This is an important indicator that enough moisture has evaporated that browning reactions can occur. A lot of flavor development can happen here, and I kinda wanted it. It certainly isn’t necessary but I could see it was about to happen so I thought eh might as well.

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Here’s a picture (above) where you can see some stuck browned bits. I want these for the flavor.

In this picture above you can see that all the liquid is gone and the vegetables and fish have kinda merged into a more homogenous mass. Homogenous mess. Mess/mass. That’s a subzi.

fresh stuff

I added spinach.

Why? I did it at this late stage because spinach doesn’t need much time to cook. The subzi is nearly done so I just need to fold the spinach in at the end, sort of treating it like an herb.

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I added some fresh tomatoes and scallions.

Why? The texture and flavor of fresh tomatoes is also good, and goes well with the cooked tomatoes already in there. Tomatoes two ways, why not. To be extremely very honest with you, I care quite a bit about how the food looks, and the bright red and green colors are attractive.

The fresh scallions have a nice onion-y zing to them, but not as intense.

Overall, these fresh veg are acting somewhat like herbs: they bring bright flavors and colors.

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I stirred it around really really briefly.

Why? Too much time on heat will dull the colors and freshness of the spinach and tomatoes.

plating

I put a tab of crème fraîche on top.

Why? For a creamy, fatty richness, and also partly because it looks cool.

postmortem

We practice blameless postmortems on this blog, but also, literally everything is my fault.

I suspect that the fenugreek seeds probably weren’t doing much for flavor in the final dish, but I’m not sure. It might be worth doing a little experiment comparing just cumin seeds, to fenugreek + cumin seeds.

I probably let the tomatoes at the end cook a little too long.

I kinda wish I’d left the sardines for the end, so I’d have distinct pieces of fish instead of little bits distributed throughout the subzi. The tradeoff here is that having it distributed throughout means that the sardine umami is all over the rest of the veg, but then you don’t have the variety and interest of larger individual pieces. Perhaps I should have used one piece mashed up for flavor and retained the rest as distinct chunks.

I forgot to add the tuna. This meant that the meal had less protein, which means leaving gainz on the table. But maybe this is a happy accident, because the subzi already has maybe too much going on.

Overall, the subzi has too much going on. It lacks elegant simplicity. It is a one-pot kitchen-sink cook-the-whole-damn-fridge subzi. What’s the story here, what’s the simple statement? What is the composition? What is the author trying to say? Nothing. It is simply food for a hungry man.